Abba, Father, I …

In the previous post, i mentioned that a born again christian has no right to hate or dislike another person. No matter how loathsome they maybe. A born again Christian is foremost characterized by a show of love. If someone proclaims to be a follower of Christ, and you detect hate in their relationship to other people, dismiss them. Such a person has never met Christ.

In this post we answer the question, what type of love is this? How should i love?

Three types of love

You no doubt have heard that there are three main types of love that appears in the Bible: Eros, Philia and Agape.

Here are quick and simple everyday man’s definitions ( All these words are of course from Greek words):

• Eros: sexual love, erotic love. ( also erasthai, to love, desire )
• Philia: friendship, friendly feeling towards those you like or are related to
• Agape: Godly love

Simply put, Eros is erotic love, as in that which exists between a man and a woman. That is what Hollywood would want you to believe is the whole purpose of life. Most people, when you mention the word love, simply think Eros.

Philia is brotherly love, that which exists between family members or friends. Agape is that extreme love, as in the love of God for man. That is the type of love that can cause the righteous man Jesus Christ to die for sinful and loathsome people.

If the Christian love were solely Eros, what difference would there between you and any other person who is capable of showing Eros even without being a Christian?  None.

If Christian love were only Philia, what difference would there be between you and a Muslim who shows deep “Philia” to his fellow Muslims, but have it as his mission to hate and destroy other human beings not following his belief? None.

It does appear then, that the Christian love must be agape love. Agape love, as you very well know, is the love that is being referred to when it is said that God is love.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. ( John 3:16 NIV)

God’s love

There should be no doubt that a Christian who follows Christ is called to love other people. People different from himself. How is he/she to love? Even as Christ loved.

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. ( John 15:12 NIV)

In seeking to understand this, i learned that what that means, is that my love should be the same as Christ’s love.

Agape love. Nothing less.

There should be no doubt then that the Spirit of God within you, when He produces love in you, it has to be God’s love, agape love:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³gentleness and self-control. ( Galatians 5:22 NIV)

Argue if you wish, but, if the author of this love is the Holy Spirit, what manner of love do you think He would produce in a believer? Perfect love, of course:

Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect. ( Matthew 5:48 NIV)

Non-Christians incapable of love

It follows then that, if you are not born again, you are not capable of the ultimate love, agape love.

Unless a person is born again, he is incapable of any great love.

The reason being that the author of God’s love, agape love, is the Holy Spirit. And you cannot have the Holy Spirit unless you are born again.

So then, non Christians and any “Christian”  that is not born again and any “born again” Christian who does not have the Spirit of God, are incapable of showing love that is acceptable to the Lord God.

What this implies in everyday life is this:

As a parent, you may love your kids, but if you are not a born again and Spirit filled, your love is deficient. As a son or daughter, you may love your parents, but as long as you are not born again, your love for them will fail.

What this also means is that, even though a romantic man may have 1000% Eros love for a woman, that love is deficient, since it is not agape love. It means, that if a man is not born again, he is incapable of loving his wife as God requires him to do so. At its best, his love for his wife is infinitely deficient.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25 NIV)

For those dear sisters seeking love, it means that only a born again man is capable of loving you to the full, as he ought to. Date and marry a man not born again, kiss goodbye to real love.

How to get agape love.

Now, if you tell me that the majority of people the world over are generally not lovable, i will agree with you. But if God, who is super righteous, could love them, so can you.

²⁷Jesus replied, “What is impossible with men is possible with God.” (Luke 18:27 NIV)

If you are born again and struggle with showing agape love, it may be that you are going about it the wrong way. You are trying to do it by your own effort. By Human effort. That is not possible. But it becomes easily possible if you let the Spirit guide you on how to do it. It becomes possible when you listen to the Holy Spirit.

It is really that simple.

To be able to love as God loves, just walk in the Spirit.

If you are asking  “how”, then see here for an starter.