Abba, Father, I …

In the past three posts on love, we saw that:

• a born again christian has no right to hate or dislike another person.
• the type of love shown by a born again Christian must be agape and
• a born again Christian cannot hate gays and other “sinners”

In this post, i will attempt to answer the question, how do you love other people?

This is not a trivial question.

By love, i do not mean the superficial  ‘love you” type statements that people so often throw at each other. I mean God-like, agape love.

Love for one another

I will make it easier for us. I will restrict the discussion to loving fellow born again Christians. Those that you may be having fellowship with.

So how do you show love to fellow Christians? The same way Christ shows His love to you, His body, His church;

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. ( John 15:12 NIV)

This, of course, means agape love. It means;

Relating to them the way Christ relates to them, His Church.

It means, caring for their needs as much as ( or even before ) yours.

I know. That must be difficult in the  “me-me” society we live.

Worse still, what if the other people are just outright “unlovable”?

It is easy to love those whom we like. It is easier to love those who love us. But that is not a feat that requires one to be born again. Even the non-saved can do that.

6If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? ⁴⁷And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? ⁴⁸Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect. ( Matthew 5:46-48)

Again, what if the other people are unlovable? In that case, ask yourself, “does the Lord love them?”

Of course He does. How does He show them His love? Mostly, trough his body, the church. Through you.  He wants to show His love towards them, through you.

Are you going to say no? If you do refuse Him this favor, how can He be your “Lord”? How can you say you love Him?

But if you are willing to obey His prompting and are willing to work with Him, He will make it possible for you to show agape love to the most “unlovable people”:

But what is impossible with men is possible with God.

So, how do you practically do this?

There is no magic formula. But when presented with any difficult love situation, listen to what the Spirit is telling you to do. He is the author of the love in you, after all.

He always knows what each situation calls for.

What if you just cannot do it?

That is not possible if you have the Spirit. If you have the Spirit, you will want to love others. You cannot but love. Because love is the fruit of the Spirit.

²²But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³gentleness and self-control. ( Galatians 5:22-23 NIV)

Love for Spouse

A man ( not a woman ) is commanded to love his wife, “the way” Christ loved the church. That means foremost, agape  love. ( Then, of course, Eros and Philia may follow ).

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25 NIV)

If a man loves his wife with agape love, these are some of the results:

• He can die for her, just as Christ died for the church. In everyday things, that means, there is nothing he would not do for her. Is there anything Christ would not do for his body, the Church? No.
• He will honor her, just as Christ honors His church. He will put her first in his list of things desirable.
• He will never seek a divorce from her because of “disagreement” or “differences” or by “mutual agreement”. Does Christ abandon his Church because of disagreements? In fact, even when she ( the church ) is unfaithful to Him, He ( Christ )  forgives her and keeps the relationship going.

The fact that divorce is now common even among “Evangelical” Christians, means that these Christians have no agape love. Let us be honest. If they did, they would willingly  persevere all things, forgive all things,  just as Christ perseveres  their  ( the Church’s ) failures.

As a side note, it seems that, as far as the Lord is concerned, if a husband loves his wife, and the wife respects her husband, there will be almost 0% chance of relationship failure. So, it may be that we have all these disastrous relationships, because we are following popular culture. But popular culture has changed this relationship formula from what the Lord commanded.

Proof of love

How can you know that you love others?

What a foolish question, you say. It is kinda foolish, because, if you love, you just know, right?

Well, there are new teachings that would like you not to deal with this “no love” problem. Please do not accept cheap solutions to this important issue.

I heard someone teaching that if you love God, you know that you love others.

NO. That is a cope out. That is trying to  justify to oneself their lack of love for their brethren. That is the easy way out. Why? Loving God is an internal state that we can not see. Loving others is an external act that we can all see. You cannot say you love God when you so clearly hate your fellow men:

¹⁹We love because he first loved us. ²⁰If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. ²¹And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother. ( 1 John 4:19-21 NIV)

Instead of sweeping the problem under the rug, talk to the Lord about it, and deal with it.

So here is something to keep you in check:

there is no way you can say you love the Lord Jesus Christ, when you hate or dislike others.