Abba, Father, I …

The question of what to wear ( especially among Christian women ) is perhaps less important nowadays than it used to be.

But the issue will never really go away. It was a problem 2000 years ago. It is a problem in the 21st century. It will remain a problem as long as we live on terra firma. That is, until men are glorified and removed from the presence of sin, what a woman wears will remain an issue for a Christian.

Pea and them girls at yakuti asked me to respond to one girl asking a question about what she wears. And so i decided to make a short post on it here.

And they were naked

The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

Imagine this scenario:

You are a missionary. You are sent to preach in a distant tropical jungle. Or tropical paradise. When you arrive in this secluded place, lo and behold, you find the villagers going about their business naked.  No one has any piece of clothing whatsoever. After getting over the “shock”, you preach to them, and all the villagers gladly believe in Christ and are born again.

You ask them whether they have problem with sexual sins, and they laugh at the question. No, they tell you. People are so busy making a living no one has time to think about sex out of the context of the necessity of procreation.

Should you ask them to wear clothes? Why? You were sent to preach Christ, not introduce a new culture of clothes. Right? Right.

This is not as far fetched at you might imagine. I doubt the Turkana men have any problem with  their bare-chested women.

Jeans or no Jeans

So, here is the question;

I can’t believe I’m asking this but my boyfriend does not like my jeans. He says they are too tight for a full-figured woman and that they make it difficult for him to keep his thoughts pure. They are not even tight for real. The way I see this I can do one of two things, change up my entire wardrobe because jeans is what I wear most, or look for a man who will take me for who I am. WWJD talk to me.

Jeans or no jeans, sin is not in the clothing, but in the heart.

This means that you could walk stark naked all day long, in the open, with other people present, and the Lord would have no problem with you.

But you could walk all covered up, Hijab and all ( Muslim women style, from toe to head, not even the eyes showing ) and the Lord might still have a problem with you.  The Muslim women are mostly covered, yet their men have not qualms engaging prostitutes.

Why? Because sin is in the heart, not in the clothing.

So here is the answer to that question. I will look at it from both sexes point of view.

But i hope you realize the issue is bigger than just clothing. It has to do with what sin is and what sacrificial love is.

To The man

We all know that men are visual. If you did not, i am informing you. Men are very visually stimulated individuals. If this were not so, there would not be playboy magazine. The world would not be having a $$billion sex/porn industry that specifically caters to men’s  visual vulnerability.

So let us suppose that the sight of a woman in a Jeans ( or scant clothing)  causes you to have sexual desire that may lead you to sin.

Whose problem is that? Yours, of course. Not the woman’s.

You cannot stand before the Lord and say:

“The woman whom you made to pass before me, she made me sin.”

Man, it is your responsibility to guard your heart against sin. Yours, not the woman who is tightly clad or  scantily clad.

Yours, not the film and TV shows director that makes the movies and shows that ensnare you.  What did you expect from Hollywood, anyway? Whatever good Holloywood does, its other role is to teach men “how to sin”.

It is your responsibility, not that of the owners of websites that spam you or offer you adult content.

If you sin, it is your failure, not another person’s. You will be held responsible for it. You do not pass over your failure to be righteous to someone else. It does not work that way.

You should seek to change yourself first. Then, and only then, would you be able to see clearly to change your girlfriend or wife.

Power over sin

If you have a sin problem, deal with it. How? Here is one way.

Go to the Lord, and tell him,

“Lord, i have impure thoughts every time i see a woman in scant clothing. I know sin has no power over me. But i need help. Help me know how to deal with this issue”

I assure you, he will speedily help you. If you have the Spirit, and sincerely seek help,  you will know how to overcome that kind of sin. You will know how to conquer all types of sin.

BTW that is what it means to walk in the Spirit-asking for help any time you need it and following the resulting direction from the Spirit:

So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. ¹⁷For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. ¹⁸But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law. ( Galatians 5:16-18 NIV)

If you walk in the Spirit, it will not matter what temptation the devil causes to pass before you, you will overcome it, and remain standing, and become a stronger person.

Being pure is not the absence of temptation ( the tight or scant clothing ) but being able to say no in the presence of temptation.

If you have not the Spirit, then woe unto you, you have no hope in staying sinless. Really.

To The woman

You are free to wear whatsoever you like ( or nothing at all if you so choose. The clothe is not the sin in itself. )  But, if you claim Christ as your Lord, you will realize that this freedom to do as you wish does not mean license to do as you wish.

Your freedom may actually become sin to you.

Where do i get that? From the bible, of course.

Here is the verse. I will take the liberty and greatly paraphrase/change some of the words so that we apply it to the clothing situation we are discussing, but you should get the general point.

23″Everything is permissible”—but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible”—but not everything is constructive. 24 No Girl should seek her own good, but the good of her boyfriend too.

25Wear anything you can buy from the stores without  raising questions of conscience, 26for, “The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it.” 27If you have a pair of jeans you want to wear, do so.

28 But if any of your brothers in Christ says to you, “This Clothing is offending the brethren,”
then do not wear it, both for the sake of the men who told you and for conscience’ sake— 29the other man’s conscience, I mean, not yours. For why should my freedom be judged by another’s conscience? If I wear a pair of jeans with no intention to draw men to my body, why am I denounced because of something I thank God for?

31So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.
32Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God—
33even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved. ( 1 Corinthians 10: 23-33 NIV rephrased)

There is your answer.

Should you listen to the opinion of everyone on what you should wear or not wear? Absolutely not.

But what about those people whom you fellowship with routinely? You ought to listen to them.

This case obviously falls under that category. Here is someone who is close to you, whom you “care about”  asking for help ( Despite the fact that he should bear his own responsibility for whatever he does, as stated above).

You need to listen to him, just as that verse says.

WWJD, you ask?

This is really never a good question, WWJD. It is well intended, i think, and works in situations where there are no specifics given. This is hardly such a situation. So WWJD is the wrong question. You should be asking, what does Jesus command me ( WDJC) ? What does the Lord expect of me?

WDJC? For you, 1 Corinthians 10, is  your marching orders.

Do you accept that? If not, why not?

I assure you, that if your heart seeks after the Lord’s heart, you will read that verse and say,

“Lord, i will do anything for you! Lord I will not wear this stupid thing if it causes one of your sons to sin against you.”

What next?

You say “The way I see this I can do one of two things, change up my entire wardrobe because jeans is what I wear most, or look for a man who will take me for who I am. ”

You know what i hear in those words? “I really do not care that much for this man, i could drop him and get another”. I hear “i do not care whether he sins or not, as long as i get to wear what i want”

I say to you, why on earth is he then your boyfriend if you can drop him so easily? And even more important,  do you really care what Christ thinks?

Both of you, i say, have issues many times bigger than the Jeans…